1. Stage make up cake suits no one – you are guaranteed to look like you’ve been Tango’d!
2. I need a new blusher
3. I need a smaller blusher brush
4. Red lipstick is pretty fab if blotted correctly
5. Red lipstick will cling to the side of your cup if you do not blot it
6. Black eyeliner underneath my eyes does not suit me
7. In fact, black eyeliner in general does not suit me
8. If you apply foundation immediately below your eyebrows it will highlight all the re-grown hairs that need plucking
9. It is far easier to colour your neck and chest with powder than it is to use stage make up
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